Smoking

There is only one good reason to quit smoking. If you are planning to stay alive for a while.

Academia is the only vocational choice that is awesomely compatible with getting old. Pick any other job - and you are just getting feebler and more useless. But in the academia age is an asset.

I have been smoking for at least 6 years on and off now. Somehow, my motivation to live always comes and goes. My motivation not to die in agony, however, comes a bit more often. And yet.

Smoking is the closest thing to an orgasm. They are entirely different, of course, but the experience of smoking, too, is difficult to describe, somewhat addictive, and somewhat pointless. And difficult to kick.

And yet. It has come to this that it is very difficult for me to imagine life without smoking. It's like "If I quit what am I gonna do?". What I am gonna do with all that free time, with all these freed up pauses between things, I'm not even sure what it is to live without an oral fixation anymore.

More importantly, is it even worth it? That requires some sort of a deep theoretical deliberation.