im Juni

There's too much to recount, so I won't. Instead, well, first of all, this is my song of the year. And second, hm, here is a nice dream I've had. A very pleasant romance with a Zoe Kazan lookalike. I was helping a girl with a zipper at an apparel store and as I was having a realization of the "she is the one" variety and also feeling that I, perhaps, never want her to be any farther from me than she was then (very close), she must have had a similar thought because we, as it were, fell into each other's arms with some kind of perfect synchronicity. The sensation of her soft waist through a pitch dark blouse, it bugs me how real it felt. Does it begin to sound like porn? There was no porn. And of course no dream of mine comes without a healthy dose of weird, because it immediately acquired a an extra layer of reality and turned into a video game with bonus points for every successful romantic accomplishment (meet the parents: aced it) but also featuring unpleasantly cynical metacommentary. Every success came with a reminder that this is, in fact, the way it usually goes anyway and that this is, in fact, how you run out of things to accomplish and sink into drudgery, or, alternatively, just fail at some point and it's all over, which is the same thing. I don't know if there were any points for dying or bonus points for dying prematurely.